yh's column

2007-01-08T14:24:00.000+08:00

Last Day As A Civilian

Having spent my last weekend before NS doing the same stuffs with the lads from Bendemeer and going Party World KTV with the Dance Group(Sernda, Chris, Joan, Alvin, Kenneth, Yue Ying, Terry...etc), today is Monday, 8 January. My last Day As A Civilian...

I have heard too many stories about SCDF, such as most recruits are Ang Kong Bengs or M*ts. But one thing, do these bengs or M*ts have some medical problems and achieved pes C status just like me ??? I don't think most of them do. Well, I still believe that I can meet nice people, nice friends in my future platoon, as well as a understandable officer.

Meanwhile, my resolutions for 2007 and my following 2 years of NS is that clear. 3 main things :

1) Making Money; Saving Money
2) Doing my Human Revolution
3) Expanding & Revitalising my social circle, esp. female friends (I not that despo or what. Just want to have a balanced gender mix of social life)

I don't wish to carry hopes of finding my first love or what. Make more friends first. That's simple.

2006-12-31T01:01:00.000+08:00

Last Post Of The Year

Well. I don't wish to scribble my new year resolutions on this very last day of 2006. I WILL get frustrated if I fail to achieve these resolutions once again, just like this year.

Come January 9 will be my National Service enlistment. Perhaps the best training for my personal life ? Maybe this may polish me up and enable me for victories that I fail to achieve for a such a long time. And not to forget... make more buddies.

At the mean time despite my duty to my beloved country, I will WANT to continue to go for gakkai activities and really fulfill my potential... something which I fail to do so. At the same time, make up opportunities to know new people. You know what I mean...

I don't know whether first love may finally come.(Opportunities are what I need)... but let's get the real basics started.

SOCIALIZING.

Meanwhile, let's learn something new. Be it Driving OR Learning Guitar. This will help me to rebuild and repolish my life.

And May football and singing continues.

As for the world, my family, everyone.

Let's have the BEST year...with happiness.

Happy New Year.

2006-12-29T17:25:00.000+08:00

At Least...

One good fortune is that I will spend my Valentine's Day at SCDF Jalan Bahar Camp. Looking back at my "so-called" love life for the past year, it's been a yet disappointing and empty one...once again.

As usual, I not like some others do, have a great "Nu Ren Yuan" that enable them to have mass social circle of female friends. I not like some others who either find their first love or get a new love. It's been a frustrating affair, where I can't even know someone else further even as friends !!!(see previous post)

What I have are poor opportunities to expand my social life, or I should say lack of opportunities? That lack of "Nu Ren Yuan" continues...

Is it because of my facial cum skin problem that I have to deserve all these ? Is it because of my poor way of talking that I have to deserve all these ? Or is it because of my underachievements in life ??? Meanwhile, some can easily find their happiness like "peanuts".

Well... it seems that my poor talking and looks are roots of all causes... despite how much sincerity I can show. Everyone may say my chances may come, but it seems that I do have to really make use of all these poor, lack chances. All these while, promises and self confidence look lost, look doomed.

One friend of mine may joked that SSA has a lot of girls. But the fact is... I still do not have that "nu ren yuan" like before(even though I have more female friends,but mostly seems like "Hi-Bye" ones), and me and A are just very ordinary friends. Blame that poor "Nu Ren Yuan" ? Blame the lack Of Opportunities? Blame the lack of self-confidence? Or just blame Myself?

After some many years of empty promises, disappointments cum frustrations,

Should there be a new year resolution regarding my love life ?

2006-12-28T16:56:00.000+08:00

Return of this blog

After almost a year or soo, I finally back to blogging right before this year ends. Next year will be a brand new start as I enter National Service (SCDF on Jan 9).

Throughout this year though, it's been more disappointments than achievements. At the start of 2006, everything looks promising. However, at the end of the year, I am just at the same step which I was at the start of the year.

Here's my review of 2006.

Disappointments

Firstly, I got myself to blame. I failed to do my human revolution. Did I change much for the better ? Did I overcome all my negativities such as laziness ? Hardly though... perhaps going NS will be the BEST for me.

Polylife...

Well, I end my 3 years++ at Ngee Ann Polytechnic on a disappointing note where I can only get a C for my attachment after a struggling yet useful stint at Micron. Well, looking back, my 3 years++ have been disappointing where I failed to :

- Socialize well with my polymates at the start of the polylife where I keep on rejecting outings at the start. However, there is redemption when I turn up for outings more often and start to talk better.
- Grades... what to say ? I fail to get a single A where others can easily roam with at least 3 in their gpas. Am I not that hardworking enough ???

My Mother...

She lost her right leg to diabetes last March...

A aka Love Life...

I don't wish to mention names in order to protect the person soo I call her A. Well, she may be attached but I do wish to know her better and progress well as good friends at the start of the year. In the end perhaps, we are just some "hi-bye" friends.

There's not much chances to get to know her further as she failed to turn up for Coaxillent gatherings. And one thing, there's not much topics to say even on MSN. Perhaps I have the fate to know her, but no chances to be even as good friends...

It's been around half year or soo since I last saw her... perhaps she INDEED not the right for me... just like others before.

I am just DIFFERENT WORLDS from hers.

Failure to fulfill my potential at NRPSD...

WHy do I say soo ??? Cos I fail to make a GREAT impression at NRPSD. for the past few years, I can't really make the bonds among the CICs. Well, I feel I don't really 'click' well with them. If 'click' well, we can be friends that always hang out. But too bad, hardly have a outings with lads from NRPSD... while others' outstanding grades and their respective love lives somehow make me feel inferior.(Sorry I have to say that...but that's how I feel.)

Different Worlds Perhaps...

Brighter Sides

Friends......

Despite some problems in my social life(See Above), there are do some brigher sides...

Bendemeer Clique(Ashwin, Perry, Darran, Ben, Nic, ZB and JK as well as the girls of Panda Gang...etc)

Well... Our long friendships just continue to grow. A great gathering at the beginning of DEC. Let's continue the weekend outings lads...

Coaxillent...

It's been great despite A's absence. A good FD performance =)... Well, may the group continue to grow and I simply enjoy each and every minute of outings.

NP friends.

Everyone may have gone to NS, but I am glad that there's still football at MaO Arena as well as PROM Nite, Outings... etc. But one thing, I still fail to play DOTA.

Attachment at Micron...

My grade may be disappointing. But I enjoy the 5 months stint where I learn a lot. It indeeds me help in preparation for a job after my ORD... not to forget...

5 Months Of Crapping, World Cup Watching...etc.

SSA Youth Camp...

It's been a joyous 3 days where I make new friends. =)

NDP'2006...

I enjoy every trainings and rehearsals and that... Despite All my WOES.

Ok... there's the end of my year review. But I may forget to add something... =P

2006-02-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

Thanks ...

Been more than a month since I have blogged. Well... having celebrated my 20th birthday last night at East Coast Park, it is the best birthday celebration that I have ever had.

To YGM Dance Group, NRPSD members, Bendemeer Clique as well as Poly Guys(Ps... too many to name everyone)...

Thanks everyone for coming and making it Possible and the Best.Thanks for the Presents. Really Grateful that you all can spend time to celebrate my birthday. =)

1 year older means that I should have grow more Wisdom and more Maturity. Soo ...

Time to Face the Challenges Ahead Bravely.

2006-01-18T00:39:00.000+08:00

Fighting against the Devil of Laziness

Well...I admit I been lazy. What have I done ? Playing Football Manager all along...it is such an addictive game when I manage Leeds in the game, taking them from League Championship to Premiership top 10, from top half to the return to Europe... but I should not be doing all these ??? I am not a real football manager ! If I ever really do that in real life, I could have earn lots of money and not worried about whether my father can change to a more stable job or not cos I am supporting the family instead ! but I'm not a manager in England, I am just a struggling student in NP instead.

I should have put in effort in doing both IS projects and preparing for upcoming ECAD and CSP assignments. But what have I done for these few weeks after the commontests ? WHY am I forgetting my goals ? I know these times are struggling especially with my family matters, I know these times I have not much good mood to look forward for chinese new year and my birthday cos of all these matters, but I can't make myself DOWN cos of all these !

If my mum can say she can't make herself change for the better, like how leopards can't change their spots, then I should SHOW her that as Human Beings, We are not Leopards, we can change things for the BETTER instead of sticking to old ways. And I should Change ...

Let me have the Ichinen to Do that.

2006-01-06T02:06:00.000+08:00

Give Me Ideas, Ideas

Not running out of ideas after checking out all kinds of France Travel Package that can assist me to apply my ideas on creating a 10 day route for my IS Tourism Project. Glad that I have something to think about it. Hope I can finish it up and split the work to the rest of the guys later on this afternoon. Now is Friday.

How I wish I don't sleep much. Don't know why I love to sleep a lot... and I was pissed off for quite some time due to one reason. For being overslept despite setting an alarm. What I do in the morning ? When the alarm on the phone sounds, which is the ringtone of Simple Plan "Untitled", I just simply off the alarm and proceed to sleep for an hour plus ! and that's been carried on for quite some time !

Well. I know these days there is no need to go to school due to the just concluded 2 week break and I do not have any commontests this week, but there's no need to sleep soo much. Well, perhaps I should sleep earlier. but I already been get used to sleep after 12 since year 1... zZzZz

2006-01-02T20:08:00.001+08:00

2006 January 2

2006. Right at the Start it's a crucial period... 17 Days Of challenge, 17 Days Of Battle for Family's absolute happiness. What's the use of LOSING ??? What's the use of GIVING UP ??? What's the use of CRYING ???
I must WIN THIS ok ???
Jap Tap Dance Group For YGM and New Year Gongyo...

Never expect that we will still be performing in 2006 ! HEHEx... on the first day. Glad to Know Each and Every Of you... Stay in Contact Ok ???
Well... glad and grateful to have the those joyful, memorable Times with Friends...
Bendemeer Clique aka Pool Mates aka Soccer Kakis...
NRPSD ...
Poly Clique aka Soccer Kakis (I wish to join ya dota one day hahax) ...
And Not to Forget, Jap Tap Dance Group(what's our group name arh ??? I know the name 's in Jap...and a very long one).
Thanks for Everything. =)

Btw,I wish to meet up my Pri sch class of 6F some day.

2005-12-31T00:21:00.000+08:00

TOP 10 - What I want to ACHIEVE, What I want to SEE for 2006

The very last post of 2005. There are lot of resolutions for this top 10 but I like to squeeze them ALL. by the way, they are not in particular orders too.

1) Family - My mum to recover quick and most importantly, fully.She's discharging on Jan 17.

2) Family - My father to have his job changed for a stable and the BEST one.

3) Family - Both My Parents can eventually take up faith in Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism and go for SSA activities.

4) Money - My family and my financial state must be BETTER,to contribute to gakkai activities and to learn new things.

5) SSA and faith - Continue to see this organisation grow, continue to chant at least 1 hr of daimoku everyday, fuifill my role as CIC by leading all my members to activities, helping in my district as much as I can, and bringing friends for activities such as YGM... =)

6) Friendships - Friendships continue to GROW... GROW... GROW. and I am able to show concern and encouragements to each and everyone of them when they are down.plus, making more friends.

7) Football - Improving in playing football and the team progresses... Watch both Liverpool and Milan to catch up at the top and winning their respective leagues (Possible ! Remember Newcastle 10 years ago ?)... as well as Leeds gains promotion back to the EPL... Barcelona to beat Chelsea... and full of surprises and excitement in WORLD CUP 2006.

8) Studies - Study hard and Get the BEST RESULTS in these last semesters.

9) Relationship - TRUE LOVE. =)... Let nature takes its course.

10) OTHERS - Improve in Bowling, Learn driving... etc. and Prepare WELL for ARMY LIFE !

2005-12-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

Top 10 Footballers of 2005

I am poor at selecting the team of 2005. Soo I will post the top 10 footballers of 2005. Some may not be the best though, but they are determined enough to be our role models. The list is not in particular orders.

1) Ronaldinho (Brazil/Barcelona) - Continue to dominate the football world with his incredible skills. Led Barcelona to La Liga glory and then Brazil in Confederation Cup and then World Cup 2006 qualifications. Retain the World Player Award.

2) Samuel E'Too (Cameroon/Barcelona) - The top scorer for the Spanish Champions and 2nd top in the league last season. He made Real regret of losing him... cheaply hahax.

3) Diego Forlan (Uruguay/Villareal) - Once a flop of Man U, but he finally made it in his debut season at Spanish La Liga by being the top scorer in the league, and led Villareal to Champions League qualification, which brings them faced his former club Man U in the following season.

4) Jamie Carragher (England/Liverpool) - The unsung hero of the team. While Sami Hyppia's been ageing and Traore making mistakes, he is there to cover for them and led Liverpool to multiple clean sheets with him in the defence.

5) Steven Gerrard (England/Liverpool) - The captain of the UCL winning team. The golden boy who almost went to Chelski yet made a U-turn. From then onwards, he redeemed himself by bringing Liverpool to the top 3 of EPL and mounting an impossible yet serious challenge on the title.

6) Alberto Gilardino (Italy/Parma and then Milan) - TO my delight, he is a big signing for Milan and he continued to score goals like the way he did at Parma.

7) Frank Lampard (England/Chelsea) - I don't like Chelski. Yet I can't deny, he is the key to Chelsea's title victory.

8) Peter Crouch (England/Southampton and then Liverpool) - He may not have the speed, may not have the finishing but he has the determination and hardworkingness. Struggle to score for quite a period of time and when people thinks he is just a one season wonder, he began to score goals, starting from that freak one against Wigan.

9) Andriy Shenvchenko (Ulkraine/Milan) - May not have the best season though. Missing that decisive spot kick which ended Milan's hopes but he led his country to World Cup qualification. Continue to score goals...

10) Hernan Crespo (Argentina/Milan and then Chelsea) - He had an excellent season with Milan. But too bad he had to go back to Chelski, he may be reluctant but he still scoring goals over there, despite not being the starter at times.

SPECIAL Coach of the Year...

I should say Guus Hiddink. Why ??? He created miracles again after what happen in 2002 as he led Australia to World Cup Qualifications. He ended the Aussies' 31 year wait and Playoffs JinX...

2005-12-30T21:47:00.000+08:00

TOP 10 SPECIALS OF 2005

I quite bo liao. Soo I post some of my top 10s of this year -- 2005.

TOP 10 Football Matches

1) UEFA Champions League FINAL - Ac Milan 3 Liverpool 3 (Liverpool wins 4-2 on penalties)

Milan, my beloved team, versus Liverpool, a team which I show the most support in the EPL (I been a Leeds fan, but Leeds is in 2nd tier League Championship.). Milan leads 3-0 at half time but lost everything in 6 minutes. 6 crazy minutes where Gerrard, Smicer and Alonso equalise, and then Shenvchenko became a villian by having his spot kick saved by Dudek in Penalty Shootouts, and handed Reds their 5th European glory. An very Emotional match... Sad to see Milan lost in that way but I respect Liverpool for their hard work and Never-Say-Die spirit.

2) UEFA Champions League 2nd Round 2004/05 - Manchester United 0 Ac Milan 1

A clash that I been waiting, and waiting for years. And I am glad to see that Crespo scored from a mistake by Roy Carroll. Lucky... but Milan won.

3) Tiger Cup 2004/05 final - Singapore 2 Indonesia 1

The one and only match I watched as a spectator in the stadium in the entire year. Though I gotta say I am disappointed in the local football scene (A sport dominated by Non-Chinese despite Chinese holds the majority of the population... Foreign teams crapz...etc), But I am proud to see my country FINALLY won something in football, in an ageing National Stadium where I have much memories of. Remember NDP 2004 ???

4) UEFA Champions League 2nd Round 2004/05 - Chelsea 4 Barcelona 2

Battle of both English and Spanish Champions. The best match of the year perhaps to most. And I am on Barca's side. But Barca lost, and Ronaldinho, Rijkhard almost wanted to beat up that SPECIAL ONE. They will meet again in the same stage next February and I hope Barca win.

5) UEFA Champions League Quarter Finals 2004/05 - Inter Milan 0 Ac Milan 1 (Match called off)

A dramatic match. Inter fans threw flares halfway in the 2nd half and hit Dida. The match stopped for some time and then when Abbiati came on, they threw again. and the match officials called the match off for good. Milan eventually progressed thru the semi finals and final while Inter deserved their punishment of playing in empty stadiums in the new season.

6) English Premier League 2005/06 - Liverpool 2 Newcastle United 1

Owen's first appearance at Anfield since leaving the Reds. But new key striker, Peter Crouch, despite struggling in scoring at the beginning stage of his Anfield career, created one for Stevie G and scored one, which they considered as an own goal. The match just happened last monday and Owen had a quiet game, due to the efficiency of Liverpool's defence.

7) English Premier League 2004/05 - Arsenal 2 Manchester United 4

Another dramatic match between both sides. And Man U eventually ended Arsenal's hopes with this win. There are still bust-ups between both players though.

8) UEFA Champions League 2nd Round 2004/05 - Ac Milan 1 Manchester United 0

the 2nd leg of the clash. Stam's first appearance against his former club and Crespo scored... again.

9) Italian Serie A 2004/05 - Ac Milan 0 Juventus 1

The top of the table clash. But Juventus took the lead all the way to the final whistle, while Milan was robbed of 2 penalties. This was a match that I would choose to forget as it ended Milan's title hopes, but it is in the top 10 as it was one important clash.

10) UEFA Champions League Quarter Finals 2004/05 - Juventus 0 Liverpool 0

Ppl think that Liverpool will throw their 2-1 agg lead away but it was not to be. Despite all those chances, Juve was shut out by Dudek, Reds defence with the key man Carragher and the Posts. And Liverpool proved everyone wrong by trooping their way to the semi finals and final, and then European glory.

TOP 10 Songs

For these, not much comments though. However there are some quite older songs which did not released in 2005, but I enjoy listening them. It is not in particular orders though, unlike the football matches.

1) Si Xing Bu Gai (死性不改) by Twins and Boy'z - Not a new year though, but I like it. One of my favourite Canto Songs.

2) Feng (枫) by Jay Zhou - a new song from his latest album. The lyrics are nice and it is yet another solid love song by Jay Zhou.

3) Ba Ai Fang Kai (把愛放開) by F.I.R - A good song by F.I.R indeed.

4) Untitled by Simple Plan - A sad song. I will always played it when I was down.

5) Incomplete by Backstreet Boys - They make a comeback and this single is quite different from their old days.

6) Tong Hua by Guang Liang - What can I say ??? The Love Song of the Year !!!

7) Tian Kong by Jolin Tsai - One of the songs that I love hearing this year.

8) 編號89757 by JJ Lin - Support Local ! This Song is solid.

9) Wang Bu Liao by Ben Shi Wen Bin - Not the oldies 'Wang Bu Liao', but a nice song by this HK singer though he is not famous .

10) 海阔天空 by Beyond - They had called it quit. But this is the best song in their 20 year history.

2005-12-30T00:16:00.000+08:00

Review - Year 2005

After such a long exile of blogging with during those times there are joys and tears,I decided to post which perhaps could be the last post of the year, with a new blogskin to welcome year 2006.

Well, Year 2005 is a year that brings me joyful moments and also disappointing scenarios. But overall, it is such a good year where I grow and learn a lot, and also achieving quite a lot.There a lot of events that I struggle through, YCF... Working struggles... Projects... and more recently, my mum's operation and further rehabilations and YGM ... yet I grow and learn a lot through all these events and achieve positive outcomes from all these struggles.

What a year when I make quite a lot of friends through gakkai activities, what a year when I achieve the best results in my polylife through those project struggles, what a year when I get more involved in gakkai activities and learn a lot of things,
what a year when friendships really grow with my True Bendemeer buddies, Poly friends and of course friends from SSA,
what a year when I continue to improve playing football and joining a team lately, what a year when I strengthen my faith through those struggles, especially when my mum underwent a serious operation.There are times that I may feel worried about things that will happen around me, but nothing I should be afraid with the power of Gohonzon and practising Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism.

Where will I be if I never take up faith and going for SSA activities ??? I could still be the same guy that people seem in my Secondary School times. But Secondary School times are just histories. Looking forward to year 2006 where I must progress even further and things must change for the better in the lives of my parents !!!

Winter never fails to turn to Spring ...

2005-11-08T21:01:00.000+08:00

Manchester United

They were the first team that I ever get to know when I learnt about English Premier League, or perhaps football.

They were the team that I love to admire and love to hate.

Admire ? The way they attack when they rule the Premiership. The way that Sir Alex Ferguson built the team brick by brick.

Hate ? The boastfulness of some Man U fans when Man U rules the league. The way that they promote themselves in Asia and fans only know about "Man U ! Man U !" but know nuts of the entire European football scene. The way that they dominates the league, winning back to back titles and give other rivals no chance at all.

Back to those days at Bendemeer, some self-proclaimed Man U fans would like to booast about how much titles Man u had won, how strong their squad is that their reserve side can crash their league opponents, especially after that famous treble that Man U won in 1999.

Where are those fans now ? Are they still showing Man U their support ? I hope they don't switch to Chelski now.

Now ... Old Trafford is no longer the ground that Away teams fear of. Man U is more like a Commercial property after being bought by the Glazers, just like Chelski. Man U no longer have the spending powers that they used to be. They have to struggle to beat Chelski 1-0 last sunday. If they faced the same opponents in the past, they could have dominate the whole 90 minutes instead of getting pressurized after leading.

My hatred for Man U may have lessen much. Despite not being their fan, I do hope that they don't fall to the way that Liverpool did in the early 1990s and Man U themselves in the 1970s.

2005-11-06T21:37:00.000+08:00

Back from a Short break

Well, I know the last post was not a pleasant one. However, some doubts are clear and no matter what happen next, let's go back to faith.

this past few week was a good one. Go and book for the December's Genting Trip, Preparing for the skit presentation for weekend's kenshiu, school reopening with 2 public holidays, YGM kick off... etc. Get the opportunites to work with fellas from NYPSD and get to know more people. The past few week was much a different week from the previous one, when I was down with boredom and loneliness.

Yesterday overnite kenshiu was fun and valuable. Have some dialogues with the senior leaders too and learnt a lot of things throughout the process. It is very seldom to have such a overnite activity at SYC and I am glad that I spend every minute and hour well with it.

That's all for now. Tomorrow's school again and that's a real struggle.I must really recall all the things learnt from OOP and apply them to tomorrow's CSP practical.

2005-10-26T21:55:00.000+08:00

Perhaps I am stopping Blogging For a while.

Does anyone here reading my struggles and problems ???

Perhaps I want to stop blogging for a while.

Enough of writing all these problems when Few Came Here.

Perhaps Most Don't Wanna to look At UnHappy Things.

9 February...

Does They Remember My Birthday ???

Writing Words Of Encouragements And Wishing Me Well ???

Giving Me such a Surprise ???

Few can remember My Birthday.

I don't Expect Others to Do That since They Can't remember My Birthday.

When I Striving Hard, Doing All the Best I can To Keep a Job Done,

Does They Noticing IT ???

Few can do soo.

When I was in Bali, Happen to have a Bombing, While I looked at Other groupmates receiving SMS from their own friends ,

Does They Send Me aNy Message tO Ask whether I am Alrite ???

Few can do soo.

I am Not Trying to Seek Any Attention, I just want leave you all good impressions,
I just want to being everyone's good friend in mind. But too bad, I failed to do soo.I failed to gel well with you all.I failed to joke much with you all.

Or Perhaps, while Mr Jose Mourinho proclaimed himself the SPECIAL ONE,

I can only proclaimed myself the FORGETTABLE ONE.

by the way, all these years why do I have problems mixing with people ???

Perhaps I don't cherish Friendships in the Past.

2005-10-24T20:01:00.000+08:00

TOP 10 - Enough Waits

What I mean by enough waits ??? Enough waits for clubs that have awaited long enough for honours, clubs that awaited long enough for a away win, players that do not have their chances to win their biggest honours, me that have enough for .......

This is the top 10 for such waits... My Top 10 is not in any particular order.

1)Liverpool & Their Away Run - Soo what if they had won the Champions League last May ??? The last time they won an away match in the EPL was perhaps... last year ? I can't recall when they won that match and whose their opponents was. They were either drew or beaten away from home in EPL from then onwards. And they were recently being beaten 2-0 by Fulham. When are they going to win an away match ? When are they going to perform in EPL like what they perform in the Champions League ?

2)Arsenal & Their Champions League Requests - When Patrick Vieria was around, Arsenal was in their Champions League, at most reached the Quarter Finals. The closest they could even reach the semi finals was in 2004, when they played Chelsea at home in the 2nd leg of the quarters after a 1st leg 1-1 draw away. And guess what ? They were beaten by the then already got their sugar daddy Chelsea but Jose was not around Chelsea at Highbury. When Patrick Vieria was around, Arsenal had the capability to challenge for the biggest prize in Europe. But now without Vieria, their quest for Europe became even harder.

3)Newcastle & Their long awaited wait for a major trophy - There were times that they came close in winning something, most notably in 1996 when they led Man U by 10+ points in EPL and this year when they had a good UEFA CUP and FA CUP run.Their squad was not bad though for all these decades, but they couldn't stand a chance in winning anything.Now with the inclusion of Michael Owen, they may hope for a cup win.

4)Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing...etc and their NBA title hopes which they failed to fulfil - They were one of the best players in NBA history. But their NBA teams just can't challenge Chicago Bulls in their times. Their best years were overshadowed by the domination of the Bulls and there's goes their NBA Championship dream till they retired from basketball.

5)Inter Milan & Their hopes of Winning Serie A and Champions League - For all these years, their owner spent much in order to pursue the dreams of winning Serie A and Champions League.But nothing had came and players came and went... Ronaldo,Vieri,Crespo,Simeone,Cannavaro...etc. They could only see fellow rivals Milan and Juve continue their domination in Italy while Roma and Lazio captured success in winning the league title.The last time Inter Milan won the Scudetto was in 1989, when I was only 3.

6)Leeds United & Their hopes Of Ambition - Peter Ridsdale and David O Leary were ambitious,millions were spent. However, despite their efforts in being a force in England and Europe, they just couldn't stand a chance in winning anything and they ended up in debts.Star players were sold and they ended up in English League Championship.

7)Bayer Leverkusen & Their Flirtations with Trophies - 2001/02 had the best chance that Bayer Leverkusen could win a treble. In the end, they ended up being the treble of runners-up, runners-up in Bundesliga(They were leading before the start of last round) and beaten finalists of Champions League and German Cup. They stood the best chances with the likes of Michael Ballack and Ze Roberto.At the end of the day,the duo went to rivals Bayern Munich and Bayer Leverkusen was not what they were used to be from then on.

8)Chia Yiheng & his hopes of True Love - For the past 6 years, 5 one sided relationships,No "In a relationship","Married" or what so ever besides Single on friendster profile, He had enough of waiting and chances are soo hard to come by...

9)Chia Yiheng & his years of underachieving - Besides those years of finding the true love, he had enough of being underachieving in terms of studies.He thought that last semester he could achieve victories by securing the 1st As in his 2 years at Ngee Ann Polytechnic.In the end, 3B+s and 2Cs and that's not enough to convince others that he could achieve victories and showing the potential of himself.

10)My Mum & her long stretch of illness and negativities - 14 long years and my childhood was robbed at the age of 5.And things are getting from bad to worst. What can I say ??? ENOUGH !!!!!! ENOUGH OF HER BAD KARMA AND OVERALL FAMILY KARMA !!! Does hopes still around ???Perhaps at the age of 5 or 6, I should have learnt to change the whole karma.

Just like Newcastle United, I had enough of underachieving in this life. And I don't think anyone can really know Me well.How many friends do remember my birthday every year ??? Few. I had to remind most of them. While they know others' birthdays well... Why can't I mix and make new friends well ? Why can't I find someone to be together like what others do ? Why can't I go out with a healthy family like what others do ? Why can't I achieve good results like what others do ? Why can't I play good football like what others do ? Why can't I talk well to people like what others do ? Why CAN't I ?

2005-10-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

Don't Make Me a Boring Dud

There used to be a fella who speaks a lot... crapz around with his secondary schoolmates and being a lamer. However, he decided to keep stay himself quiet at times after receiving some comments that he was irritating and being a nuisance. Too bad, he became a quiet guy who hardly talks with much topics and hardly attract anyone's good impression.

Damn. That fella is Me. True eh... I really want to speak more, makes other laugh and capture good impressions. And from there, I can make more good close friends. Too bad, for these few years, I can't. How to be a close friend to others when you can't speak well ? How to make more friends when you stay quiet at times ? How to let others know more about you when you can't talk with much topics ? How to encourage others when they are down and you only have few words that can really cheer them up ? How to capture attention from the opposite gender when you don't know how to joke with them before you ever think of giving nice sweet talk to them ?

Sadly currently, all these problems are with me.

Somehow the distances between me and others look more further away than before. One day, can I talk to them more with much topics I can share ? can I let them know more about Me ? can I let them know that I can be a nice and true friend ? can I crack jokes to them and make them laugh ? and most importantly, can I not be a dull and boring person ???

I hope the answer is CAN.

2005-10-18T13:34:00.000+08:00

My Love Affair With Football

I always wanted to play football in Primary School.But too bad, most of the people there play basketball and it got only started during Pr6, when my class started playing football during PE lessons. Back then, I know nothing about English Premier League,let alone the likes of Manchester United and Ac Milan as well as other major European leagues and Competitions.Before 1998, I only know little about Singapore football and the 1994 World Cup Victory by Brazil.

However, after getting to play football during PE lessons, I started to get interested in football.1998 was the year of another World Cup finals, where France capped a 3-0 against Brazil and I got to know about some footballers of the tournament, most notably Ronaldo and David Beckham. However, both players did not have a good tournament that year. Ronaldo suffered a mysterious injury before the final which led to Brazilians' downfall and Beckham was dubbed a villian after sending off for his tackle against Diego Simeone in the 2nd round match against Argentina for England.

After that World Cup, I started watching English Premier League football which led until today. From there, I started supporting Liverpool, with the likes of Michael Owen and Robbie Fowler back then. I was not a die hard supporter though. And then got to learn about other big leagues in Italian Serie A and Spanish League. Of course, I came to learn about the biggest club tournament in Europe, the UEFA Champions League.I also started playing football games in FIFA 98, FIFA 99 ... etc.

The following year started life at Secondary School and life playing football day in day out. Football is played at Whampoa CC and in the later years, St Wifred Field. It was the year that I started my 'love affair' with AC Milan, although they were not the best team back then despite winning the league title that year.However, I gained nothing playing football during Secondary School times, as football matches are filled with Sarcasm by some lads who think they were funny to amuse others, and they played half-heartedly. There are only some Secondary School friends that really play football full-heartedly, and we still kept in touch and play some football even after we left Secondary School.

2001 saw me started a liking towards Leeds United also(I still support Liverpool.),as they booasts the youthful talent of Harry Kewell and Alan Smith, with the backline of Jonathan Woodgate. However, they failed to win anything which led to their downfall to English first Division(English League Championship). Despite all these woes, I still show my support to them and kept myself updated with the news of the club in league Championship. There were times that I was proud to see my favourite clubs won, especially AC Milan's 2003 Champions League win and more recently, Liverpool's 5th title in the Champions League.(too bad, their opponent was AC Milan !!!)

2003 started polylife and there's started my trips to Woodlands's Mao Arena, where I started improving playing better football through those kickabouts with my poly friends. Gone are the days of Sarcasm and half-hearted football by those chaps of Bendemeer but fast-pace and exciting display by friends of MaO Arena. And ever since I had football kickabouts with my old friends at St Wifred, with the exclusion of those sarcastic chaps, we play much technical and better football in these past few years.I started to get to play in different positions and play better football than those times in Bendemeer.

Some friends just come and go through these years of playing football, while some friends continue to stick along as time passes by. Thanks that those friends who stick with me through thick and thin are those true friends who play full-heartedly and guide me along.As in football, new footballers begin to emerge while some footballers just fade away. Some clubs create new revolution in football while some clubs ended their glory days.

2005-10-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

Finally I change Skins !!! and first Post for a long Time...

Hope Everyone like this new image of my blog. Found this skin which has a theme of 'Black and White'. Nice and Not Girlly, Sissy.

Came back from Bali Last Saturday,not yesterday. The place is nice, sadly terrorists strike again during the trip, attack the tourism spot of Kuta Town, the same place where the first bombings of 2002 took place. I am lucky and glad that I was 100km away from Kuta Town, as I was in a rural village building a stretch of road with the group. By the way, can those terrorists please spare a thought before doing anything ??? The balineses earn parts of their livings by selling their handicrafts to the tourists. And the Balineses are the same nationality as you. Once you set a bomb, you not only disrupt your country's own economic growth from tourism, but also affect the Balineses' livings. Soo please... don't harm your own people, don't harm your own country, don't hurt the world.

WIth 2 weeks left to go to the school opening, hope I can find some temporary jobs to help out for my family's financial situation. By the way, I am glad that I am back and go all out for Gakkai activities. Glad that yesterday's SD meeting is a great success and the games that I am partly in charge of can let the members enjoy it. Everyone involved in the planning of games, skit and the meeting did a great job.

That's all for now.

2005-09-20T22:29:00.000+08:00

Final Post Before the Bali Trip

I am NOT going to demise the blog. I just decided to stop blogging until the end of my bali trip starting 28 Oct 2005. After the bali trip, I will be back again.

Around 2 years ago, I encountered problems when it was the time that I just started my poly life.I have some f**king characters and problems that gave my then new classmates those very bad impressions, plus some Misunderstandings which I don't wish to recall again.It was then I started practising Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism and started going for activities at Singapore Soka Association(SSA).It was then I started to grow some wisdom to know what have I done wrong.And things started to change for the better.

Now... at the very same time as 2 years ago, I encountered much bigger problems in life. My father wants to change job as his company going from bad to worse and at his age,it is very hard to change jobs,and my mum's health condition's worsening.Things going bad in the family but that does not mean that I just sit down there and take those problems as nothing.

Somehow I feel that it is not the right time to go for a community trip to Bali but it is too late. But I am glad that before I go, I get a temporary job to earn some money to help prepare for the future if the financial situation goes bad. and I hope that I can really score in this semester, score the BEST RESULTS that I has never scored for a very very long time, to show great actual proof to my parents which can encourage them to take up the faith, and enable them to chant and challenge all the problems.

I MUST WIN !!!

2005-09-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

More Questions Without Any GOOD Answers

1)Why do those buses like to come in numbers when you don't need it for travel, but when you desperately need them to reach your destination, IT TOOK A LONG TIME TO COME !!!???

2)Why do bus 151 have more air con fleets during weekends while there's not much passengers during those days(especially students...). But on weekdays when there's much passengers(mostly students), the majority of the fleets on those days are those OLD MODEL NON AIR CON ONES ??????

3)Why do disappointments always occur on those occasions when you expect you will achieve some things and gain your happiness through such occasions ??????

4)Why do some people always get their chances in life, but for some people, they desperately wanted to get those chances to show that they are capable and make good impressions, but those chances hardly come ??????

Sorry if I am having bad english in this article... i been giving bad english.

2005-09-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

Three Questions Without The RIGHT Answers

Firstly, Why do people like to recall the memories of you doing something silly... over and over again...while you are started to have the desire to do well in life and willing to fight on and earn their respects and admirations ?

Secondly, Why is there much little time for you to do the things that you like when you are having a salary to spend with. But when you have much bloody time to spend with, you are F**KING BROKE !!!???

Thirdly, Why do some people who are immature,don't even bother to study or help his group members in projects(freeriders),not trustworthy... can find a girlfriend... while some people who learns to struggle, being trustworthy and true to friends, understand how the family situation is and willing to fight hard for his happiness... CAN'T even find a single girlfriend in life ???

This world is DAMN FUNNY... DAMN FUNNY.
HAHA !

2005-09-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

In terms in television coverage, it is THIRD WORLD !

Dear Starhub Digital Cable,

You can afford to make your service digital... You can afford in bring in a lot of channels, You can afford to bring live tv coverage in Scottish Premier League, French League, Dutch League even on GOAL TV channels, You can afford to show soo much of golf tournaments, major tennis tournaments, You can afford to bring FIFA World Cup 2006... but why you can't bring in Italian Serie A ... one of the best league in the world, the best league in terms of technique, a league that booasts the likes of Ac Milan, Juventus, Inter Milan... a league that booasts the likes of Shenvchenko, Kaka, Nesta, Adriano, Totti, Viera, Del Piero, Nedved, Buffon ... ???

Dear Mediacorp TV,

You can afford to show top American shows like "Lost","The Apprentice","Charmed" on Channel 5, You can afford to show the whole daylight of cartoons to kids on Central where I don't even have the chance to enjoy such coverage when I was a kid, You can afford to produce soo much News Programmes on CNA, You can afford to produce soo much Idol shows that produced the likes of Taufik, Weilian and Kelly, but why you can't afford to bring in more recent Hongkong TVB Dramas, more football matches ???

Overall, you all just cater to the majority, not the minors... while others in other parts of Asia cater to every different types of people. People watching too much of EPL doesn't mean they don't watch Italian Serie A ok ??? There are people who are supporters of Ac Milan, Juventus and Inter Milan... LIKE ME !!!

I am very disappointed... In terms of tv coverage, we are third world ! and people who subscribe to SCV doesn't mean they are rich people ok ??? ... soo please don't show soo much golf... most people don't watch golf here.

2005-09-02T01:03:00.000+08:00

Current thoughts on my mind

I don't feel like sleeping at this hour. Been thinking about gaining victories in the upcoming exams and the struggles that I have been through recently and perhaps the recent years in my life.

Finally all the projects are cleared, and tomorrow WNA report submission marks the end of a much struggling semester full of projects before the final exam. this semester somehow is one semester to remember. Being in a different class when most of my original classmates are gone for their IHP/IAP, doing projects on my own, getting more serious in studies(even though i still being slack at times),YCF struggles,More involvements in gakkai activities as a CIC...etc . Now I am at the last lap,and that's preparing for upcoming exams in ICA(final test),OOP and DM.

Today try my best in helping Jack's group for WNA Project. Sorry if i may show a little attitudes cos sometimes i am getting impatient and frustrated when I can't solve those buggy problems. By the way, we also being chatting abt those 2 years of life in NP. well, quite a number of memorable incidents to remember lolx. Time flies by fast and now we are in year three.

And 2 years ago, when i first step into NP, one of my resolution is to find a gf. a resolution that i fail to do so until now after a number of heartbreaks starting from secondary school days.Perhaps i have no love luck, and because I make the very wrong ways to approach, and even now, I don't have much female friends that are very close to me. And even now, I am hard to find any topics that can really chat well with those female friends, even gossiping. Can Say that i don't have "NU REN YUAN" in this life.

Anyway, in this time of situation, study comes first. "Gain victories in your studies before U can complain about such things." that's what my friend used to say.

True... i have never tasted true great victories in studies for such a long long time. now is the time to take actions to achieve such victories,perhaps good qualities can attract a girl.... and some day i must also learn to interact with my female friends well.

2005-08-30T01:05:00.000+08:00

The sorry state of TV here

Why am I saying this ? Cos I feel that the television programmes are getting bad down here in Singapore. Why am I saying soo ?

Look at the tv shows that Singaporeans have been watching. The serials that Mediacorp has been producing are getting from bad to worst. That previous 7pm show,"Tong Xin Yuan", which was a typical family drama, was perhaps the worst drama that I had ever watched,or maybe the worst that Mediacorp has produced. Poor storylines that looked soo lame, and characters that looked soo weak... and Singaporeans who don't subscribe starhub digital cable yet still must pay an amount of tv license fee are forced to watch these !!! Please lah... as the only free to air tv station in Singapore, pls show some respect to people who need to pay the license fee. Stop producing lousy local shows and buy some dramas. Where is the top rated korea drama "Da Chang Jin" that have won over audiences in Korea,Japan,Hong Kong,Taiwan and Malaysia ? now then show at Starhub when everyone in other parts of Asia have finished watching on their own free to air tv...Is that too late ? by the time you show free in Singapore, others may forget about this tv drama liaoz... By the way, stop creating retarded or mentally disabled characters like the ones in "Jing Jing" of "Holland V" and "Da Yang" of that poor "Tong Xin Yuan" in your very own dramas. You seem to be making fun of such unfortunate people. And oh please, Pierre Png "Da Yang" cannot be compared to Roger Kwok "Ah Wang" in Hongkong Drama "Square Pegs". "Da Yang" is such a weakling who only KPKB for his "mermaid" while "Ah Wang" may find all "creative" ways to make his wife happy, such as inventing "lao po biscuit" which is made of his wife's favourite ingredients, even though he may be a dimwit who has a IQ of a 8 years old's.

By the way,why Starhub digital Cable out of sudden not broadcasting any Italian Serie A matches while those free to air Indonesia channels still fancy showing them ? shame on you as a cable tv station... don't say you can't afford to buy them for broadcasting. bluff who ??? I know Serie A may be boring and Italian Football is currently in a state of scandals... such as match-fixing and financial crisis, but that doesn't mean you should put them off the list.

It seems that I may be fussy at tv programmes. but there's a reason to be fussy. Like what i say, Singaporeans pay for their tv license fees yet they can only get to watch lousy and out dated tv programmes (except for channel 5 who shows dramas like "lost"). Meanwhile my aunt who lives in Kuala Lumpur gets to watch dramas like "Da Chang Jin" and more recent Hongkong dramas without paying a single cent for what so ever tv license...

What can i say ? people can write complaint letters as much as they can, but they just f*ck care those suggestions. still dare to reply that they provide what programmes ... etc etc etc... but THOSE ARE NOT PEOPLE THAT WANT TO SEE !!!

2005-08-24T21:39:00.000+08:00

Lesson taught for this semester ???

Don't Ever Fail Any Modules Previously If Not You will End Up Together With A BUNCH OF SLACKERS CUM FREERIDERS.

JUST LIKE ME...

Sad but true. I don't wish to criticise those classmates of 3 years, and not all of them are the same, but MOSTLY are.i know we are in a unfamiliar class, a class without our same old peeps, a class without a genius like choon yan, but that doesn't mean we can continue to slack and don't even show a damn in studies,and of course, continue to get spoon feeded. education in polytechnics are much different from those in secondary schools, where lecturers can be a little bo chup and less worried than our secondary teachers, but a good or bad diploma cert at the end of the whole poly years can determine the future of yours. And a bad diploma won't take you anywhere.

And Sorry to say that... how does it feel when you do your group project by yourself, while your group mates just continue to go surfing their forums or friendstering, without any help or suggestions provided for the project ? Now i know how my past IPW group mates feel... when they do much for the project while me then just reluctant to contribute my part and go jolly go happy. i know even if i ask them to do some parts of the project, they may not know how to continue with it. But at least show some sincerity to volunteer and work out together. I don't know how to explain about the group work in the final report of the project.

I am been tired... being tired of having to work all those all alone...

while some immature asscl*wn continues to friendstering and flirt around with girls.

i been long wanted for a long term nice girlfriend cum soulmate, but i can't while those free riders can have their other half around.

Perhaps the best is yet to come for me... somehow even if they are being attached, but are they really HAPPY ?

i still hope for a true love to come but right now i just want to continue to fulfil my role as a good student,CIC,young eagle,son and a true friend.

To those classmates, sorry to say that if you come by this post, but i just want you all to know how tired and disappointed i feel.

2005-08-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

i will post the words for now before i will post the photos.

yesterday i should have planned my time of the whole sunday well. i should have bring my belongings along to my grand aunt's birthday celebration before proceed for Mok and Sharon's birthday celebrations at Downtown East Chalet. i assume that the birthday lunch ended at 2pm... but too bad it delayed much longer and i had to go halfway and meet weilun and derek for the chalet.

Firstly, the family lunch for my grandaunt's birthday looks dull. Why I say dull ? Not because of the delay... but because that I fail to interact with my distant relatives(especially those distant cousins who most of them bear the same surname as me,but they are the childrens of my father's cousins). From young, I never get to be very "gum" with them, mainly because we hardly meet every year, except for those occasions such as my grandaunt's birthday. And to make it a shame of myself, I hardly talk to them and they hardly approach me for even a chit chat. they may be around the same age group as me, but there's just no interaction between me and those distant cousins.I don't even know what exact age they are... let alone what schools they are from. And every time when I was at such a family occasion, I just being silent while they interact,joke among themselves. Feel like an outcast. My parents may interact with the parents of those distant cousins, but what about me ? I am afraid when every one of the same generation grows up, I will jolly lost contact with those distant cousins of mine since there's not even a single word between me and them ! From young, I tend to be more closer to those cousins like yiwei,yansen,melissa,sheena and gerald...etc. Even my elder cousin like ah keong can make an effort to call me and have a long dialogue even though i never seen him for more than 10 years !

As for the chalet,it is fun ! and i should have stayed overnight at there...so that i can join in the "AGM" and get to know fellow peeps from nrpsd better.but too bad like what i say earlier, i fail to go home after my grandaunt's birthday and decide for my belongings since there's a delay.Anyway, as for the food at the chalet... it should be ok. if not for that tiny piece of cloth found in weilun's food and that tiny dead maggot in chaifong's veggie... and i think that chaifong will make a complaint to the cater company.Throughout the time at the chalet, we share a lot of conversations,play some games and celebrate birthdays.it is so enjoyable that i really should have stayed... i even think of going back home, bring my belongings needed for next day's school and come back to pasir ris. but it already too late.And soo the moral of the story is...

Plan the time of the day well.You will never know what will really happen next.

2005-08-17T20:04:00.000+08:00

1. 曲名：Waiting For You 歌手：胡彦斌专辑：MuSiC 混合体

金色的舞鞋
伴着音乐
Baby 你的眼睛是一湾深邃的湖水
哦~忽明忽灭
掩藏不可思议的美
让我晕眩
在悬崖边
谁知一睁眼就不见~

Waiting for you
I m waiting for you
Waiting for you kiss me in the night
为何你 Cinderella
留给我一望无际的思念

Waiting for you
I m waiting for you
Waiting for you come here to my dream
牵着你不断旋转
一直到黑发变成了银线
Waiting for you　
Waiting for you
直到永远

哦~忽明忽灭
掩藏不可思议的美
让我晕眩
在悬崖边
谁知一睁眼就不见~

Waiting for you
I m waiting for you
Waiting for you kiss me in the night
为何你 Cinderella
留给我一望无际的思念
Waiting for you

Waiting for you　
Waiting for you　
Waiting for you

Waiting for you
I m waiting for you
Waiting for you kiss me in the night
为何你 Cinderella
留给我一望无际的思念
Waiting for you

Waiting for you
I m waiting for you
Waiting for you come here to my dream
牵着你不断旋转
一直到黑发变成了银线
Waiting for you　
Waiting for you
直到永远

Waiting for you　
Waiting for you　
Waiting for you

To my future first love which i have been waiting. hehex.

2005-08-13T00:18:00.000+08:00

Just come back from K Box at Marina Square and today's KTV session although short, but just as enjoyable as before !!! Singing quite an number of my favourite songs like "Dao Dai","Wo Men De Ai"(Too bad i cannot sing "Ba Ai Fang Kai" cos i think the mv something wrong for that song.),"Wang Bu Liao","Ge Qian" and it's great. Then Sean looked drunk, shout out loud in his songs and toking a lot of C*ck ! hahax. Fun. I really love going KTV, but soo far I only go 3 times ever since KBOX started in Singapore. Hope I can visit more and sing more hahax !

On the way home, I received a call Derek and he asked me to join him and some of our fellow friends of NRPSD for a late night movie at Cineleisure. They have just watched the YCF Video Show at Tampines HQ before that. But too bad I can't join them, I need to go home after such a long day outside in school and KBox as well as I need to sleep early for tomorrow performance for August Festival at Tampines HQ. Doing Japanese Tap Dance again... hehex. Anyway, I feel like joining them, cos we hardly meet others for movies or KTVs besides going for gakkai activities and meetings. I should have join them for the overnite "chit chat" at West Coast Park after the BBQ last saturday if not for my singing competition for SSA family month. Anyway, hope I can really come for such outings and know my friends well... =)

I need more time hanging out with friends and of course doing and complete all my projects as well as studying. Sometimes, being busy is good. We learn to manage our time well and struggle to create victories in life.

By the way, tomorrow is the start of the English League season... time passed so fast and Liverpool's Champions League victory looks like it happened just recently. Anyway, I predict that Liverpool will build on their CL's success and challenge Chelsea for the title. Guess the top 4 will be the same big 4 of England - Liverpool,Chelsea,Arsenal,Man U... By the way, Tottenham Hotspur is a black horse... they have some of the talented youngsters in England like Defoe, Huddlestone, Dawson and Robinson... etc and they are like the Leeds of the early 2000s(In the way that they have a good young squad like what Leeds did during that time but not in the way they spent.). Think that Tottenham will challenge at the top and they can make it for Europe. Anyway, this Epl Season before the World Cup 2006 will be an exciting one and I don't think it will be a one horse race.

2005-08-08T12:12:00.000+08:00

Well...last Sat's NRPSD Campus Connection cum BBQ is a great success and I am glad to see lots of new members joining us for the event. It is one of the best bbq that I have enjoyed in my life. Thanks Alvin,Terry and Sharon plus others who went help out planning of games,making of souvenirs as well as buying of food... I did get involved in the souvenir com. But too bad, I felt guilty cos I didn't even make a single piece of souvenirs... I hope I can contribute more in the future for NRPSD.

by the way, the T-Shirt design for NRPSD is marvellous,the lighthouse at the back is soo stylo and modern. lolx. Thanks Sharon and her t-shirt com. Perhaps I will show some pics of the t-shirt when I get it. Tomorrow is National Day and a year passed since those memories at National Stadium. Somehow I do miss the group a2 of NDP 2004... hope I can see them again in the near future. Joining NDP 2004 with SSA makes me grow in faith, make more new friends(I still make more in this year's YCF hehe.),as well as get me closer to NRPSD and SSA. and those training days at Kranji Camp and soon-to-be demolished National Stadium I will never ever forget.

A year has passed and some things may changed. But those friendships made throughout the year will always stay...

Guess this year's NDP is a big one. with heartland shows at various housing estates, the carnival at Marina Bay as well as the main event at Padang. Too bad my YCF item is not going to perform at any heartland shows. But anyway, this month of August is an interesting one with soo many things coming on. More Gakkai activities, National Day month, the new football season started before the 2006 World Cup, and of course ... tons of Projects ! Guess I will be very very busy this month.

2005-08-05T15:21:00.000+08:00

We need encouragements from our own friends when we are down, getting setbacks or making some mistakes when playing some sports such as football. But to those people whom I know during the Whampoa CC days : Is that what you call "encouragements" that you have said to me when playing football at Whampoa CC in the past when we were still wearing school uniforms ? Are those phrases like "Don't bully lah", "Good play","Yiheng gives chance"... etc sounds like encouragements from you guys to me ??? Sounds more like Sarcasm...

By the way, those style of play that you all have given don't benefit me in playing football during those 4 years in my life. I play with more joy and learn more in improving in the game when playing with friends at MaOArena, Darran and Co. as well as comrades from NRPSD.

I may have seldom saw those "so-called" friends in this current chapter of my life but if one day you have came across this blog, I have a message for you guys.

Sorry for being too direct but it's true.

2005-08-05T14:45:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel I am being under-estimated by some of the people I know. Why do they like to recall those embarrassing or ugly things that I have done rather than recalling the brighter sides of me ? Until now, they like to comment about the silly own goal that I have made in a match less than 2 years ago but it is NOT funny at all.

True that I don't play well in football but I am willing to learn and keep on improving ever since that horrible moments in life. I may still make mistakes but willing to learn from it. And scoring own goals is not a great thing that a person will do. But why do people still under-estimating and only remember the ugly things that I have done when I am willing to learn and have more desire achieve bigger things in my life ??? Am I expected to achieve much bigger things soo that people can really show a little respect on me ? I don't expect myself to be GREAT and gain some FAME or what... what I want is a little more respect from people who are still under-estimating me.

I am tired of being the only group member to do projects everything by myself, and I am tired of being under-estimated as well as under-achieving. What I want is to excel in life and get along better with people... at least my words can be heard and bothered.

2005-07-28T23:43:00.000+08:00

These few days been great... knowing some few new friends through weekend's gakkai activities, achieve victories in common tests, getting a new handphone... etc. But I will continue to work hard and achieve victories and happiness... I want to keep up the good work in studies and work hard for the upcoming projects, do my role well as a CIC, defeating those negativities that are still in me, and one more thing... know the girl of my dreams... (Or have I already know her ?)

That's more things that I would like to achieve, besides those of the above. As for love, I don't want to write more about it. hehe. Anyway, this kind of thing lies in the hands of fate... perhaps.

Going to do more running and perhaps going gym in preparation of upcoming of NAPFA. my fitness's been bad... really bad.

That's all what I gotta say in this post. Take care.

2005-07-24T21:22:00.000+08:00

My "Honeymoon" that spans from thursday to sunday(which is today) is great ! Besides going on running,swimming,playing football on both thursday and friday,I get greatly involved in the post YCF celebrations on this weekend !

Yesterday, I went to TBSC for post SD YCF Celebration and I got to do encore for my Japanese Tap Dance alongside Bollywood Dance and Samba Dance and all three performances are great !!! Long time never wear that costume but I feel great performing again... muHAHAHA (evil laughter*). After that, I went makan with some fellow NRPSD friends for dinner at Harborfront before heading home.

Today is almost the same. I went to HQ for HQ1 post SD YCF Celebration and I get to see the highlights of the whole show ! But too bad arh... Never show my face cos the camera keeps on filming on the centre and I am at the extreme left !!! Anyway, I don't wish to see my face also hahax. After that, went for one event organised by NorthEast CDC and they attempted to break the world gunniness record of having the most ppl to burst balloons... After that I went to eat some food at Burger King with Mok,Francis and most members from NYPSD...get to socialise with them also arh.

Somehow how I wish I could have taken up faith and get greatly involved in FD activities when I was much younger... so that by now I could have make a lot a lot of friends from different polys... hee hee.

And there's the end of my short "Honeymoon" after commontests... get to go back and rush my projects and for my studies now.

2005-07-21T18:37:00.000+08:00

And soo my common test ended yesterday, this term's commontests looked so relaxing, with 3 practical tests and 1 paper test. Should have scored all with very flying colours (yeah... must be very flying)... but too bad, I am able to attempt all of them but I still can't do the correct output in some questions of those practical tests .

Anyway, Over is Over... Done is Done. I do believe I can still score in those papers.

This coming's Saturday will be post YCF meeting at Telok Blangah Soka Centre.Anyway ever since the end of HQ1 show, I hardly meet up with those friends of NRPSD and Japanese Tap Dance Item. Yah... hardly... and I don't know how well are they doing after YCF. I hope everyone is doing fine and for those who are having their life struggles, I hope they can overcome those problems and live happily.

Despite somehow I feel that I am not being close to them, I do believe that I can mix well with them and know them well as friendships grow. Frankly speaking, I may feel ignored when I am trying to have some conversations with you all, but I don't take them to heart. Perhaps there is a lack of understandings and communications. Perhaps I have my own problems of socialising. Perhaps I don't have the talents of speaking well and impress others.

But it's ok, I will learn to change my ways of communicating and mix well with you all guys.
I will continue to grow...

2005-07-20T23:58:00.000+08:00

Post yet another piece of song again. This time a song by Energy... seldom listen to their songs le.

眼泪的味道

记忆深处的美好星空还刻着你的微笑
数不清多少夜晚她在你手心的记号

轻轻靠在我怀抱闻你发丝淡淡的味道
怀念我们曾经多么单纯的美好
过去的美好我想有一天我们都能忘掉
想你的星空下星星不再闪耀

我想我知道眼泪的味道
曾经付出的每一天每一年我不曾想逃
我想我知道眼泪的味道
曾经付出的每一天每一年我不曾想逃
受伤的翅膀总有一天会慢慢
慢慢的变好能飞得更高当失去你的依靠

don't wanna miss you
逝去的不能再留住只是过往每个画面
都成为我们的束缚对爱情的无助

我想我知道眼泪的味道 ...

2005-07-18T20:30:00.000+08:00

Today both OOP and CEMS Practical tests quite fine. however, I miss out on doing a few parts for both tests. Anyway, I manage to do most of the whole questions required in both tests.

Went for lunch with ChoonYan,Pei Jie,Wai Hong and Aaron at Bukit Batok Mac after that. Bukit Batok Mac is SPACIOUS but quiet... Think I got go there before during primary school days, where WestMall was not even around during that time, when those buses at the nearby interchange were still under SBS. Anyway, speaking of primary school days in Pei Chun, watching a Thai movie called "My Girl" last sat night on ch 56 made me remember those times. That show is funny but touching by the way...

Does Those childhood memories of mine good or bad ? Both la...

2005-07-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

Incomplete
By Backstreet Boys

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I’ve tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete....

2005-07-14T20:45:00.000+08:00

Welcome to My Life
By Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Somehow this song best suits my feelings and struggles in school.

But I am not gonna give up, not gonna...

2005-07-14T20:29:00.000+08:00

There are regrets but there is no use for regretting.

And the moral of the story is... Don't even fail a single module in your poly life. Just like me. I end up struggling with year 3 assignments that I don't even suppose to take them this semester. I am lagging behind, really behind, as no one can really guide and motivate me. How I wish I can be with my classmates that I been mixed with since year 1, doing IHP or IAP.

I rather struggle doing interim reports and other kinds of reports that most of my friends have done for their IHP/IAP this semester.

What happens during the first year in NP is a great valuable lesson for me to learn.

But now it's too late. I want to give up. But there's no use in giving up. All I can do now is to do the best I can.

And I don't want to be underachieving that I used to be anymore.

Is there any reason for me to cheer up ?

2005-07-09T20:47:00.000+08:00

Play football at St Wifrid with Jack,ChoonYan and Peijie joining along for the first time yet today is not really a good day. I don't play very well under the hot sun as I do not make any much efforts to fight for the ball and misses a lot of passes, getting only one real chance that is blocked by Thim Ler.I always been error prone and tense in playing football but I want to be more consistent in the future and make more effort and show more desire in playing well.By the way, today perhaps produced the lowest scorelines in the 2hrs of play.

Unfortunately, ChoonYan lost his hp and I feel very bad, because it is the first time that I bring him along with Jack and PJ to play at St Wifrid, yet he lost his hp over there ! Damn. But I hope this incident won't stop them from coming over there to play in the future. Instead, I would like to see more friends from EI to come in the future.

Upcoming week is study break yet I think I may go back to school everyday in order to complete my CAD, CEMS assignments as well as ICA assignment. There are also extra remedials in the week for me to prepare for the upcoming commontests. Need to work hard to score well.

2005-07-07T20:15:00.000+08:00

一路向北
作曲:周杰倫主唱:周杰倫填詞:方文山

後視鏡裏的世界越來越遠的道別
你轉身向背側臉還是很美
我用眼光去追竟聽見你的淚

在車窗外面排徊是我錯失的機會
你站的方位跟我中間隔著淚
街景一直在後退你的崩潰在窗外零碎

我一路向北離開有你的季節
你說你好累已無法再愛上誰
風在山路吹過往的畫面全都是我不對
細數慚愧我傷你幾回

後視鏡裏的世界越來越遠的道別
你轉身向背側臉還是很美
我用眼光去追竟聽見你的淚

在車窗外面排徊是我錯失的機會
你站的方位跟我中間隔著淚
街景一直在後退你的崩潰在窗外零碎

我一路向北離開有你的季節
你說你好累已無法再愛上誰
風在山路吹過往的畫面全都是我不對
細數慚愧我傷你幾回

我一路向北離開有你的季節
方向盤周圍回轉著我的後悔
我加速超越卻甩不掉緊緊跟隨的傷悲
細數慚愧我傷你幾回

停止狼狽就讓錯純粹

This song can be heard from the Initial D Movie. Quite a Nice Song.

2005-07-05T16:12:00.000+08:00

Am I really happy ? that's the question I sometimes will ask myself.

Somehow I feel that I am doing fine... but somehow I don't feel I am doing so. Why ? Well, I may know a lot of friends throughout this life, I feel that I don't really know them well. They can share a lot with each other while sometimes I feel that I am being left out. This kind of feelings have stayed long for a long time. And one thing is, whenever I try to share out something with others, they may still proceed with the conversations on their own,without noticing what I gonna to say. Sorry friends, I am not writing all these stuffs to voice out that I am not happy with you guys or what. You guys are nice friends.really.i am not being sarcastic. I am writing all these stuffs to question myself whether should I find the right time to talk or not, or should I rather stay quiet ? I do not wish to be quiet, I just want to share, talk with others and know others well.

I want to achieve victories before the end of the year. But the problem in me is that I am being lazy, a slacker. How to achieve victories without efforts and hardwork ? Those modules in the new semester may be tough but I want to score high in studies, perhaps the best results in my life. I don't think I am doing well in my O Levels and of course, those past semesters in the poly, and therefore this semester is the time to prove myself and show actual proof to people around me. But first, I must win over the devils of laziness, which plague around for a very much long time.

And final thing, I wish I can do find someone that I am interested in, and she may be interested in me.Well, those shattered one sided relationships are things of the past and I don't wish to remember them over and over again.Now I want to do well in my life and hope that someone special can appear in my life. By the way,just to share a little something -> I do want to know some ywds during ycf but too bad, no chance to even speak to them even after the whole event is over ! but never mind, maybe got chances next time ?

By the way,after reading this post, don't misunderstand me as a despo or what. I want to know those ywds because I want to be their friend, before I can ever even think of falling for one of them or what. Maybe they are attached I of course also don't know. hahax

2005-07-05T00:11:00.000+08:00

On the way to Expo...

Hair styling by John, our IIC.

NRPSD 2gether.

Group B group pics... Oh yeah !

At the end of the day... 2 July 2005

2005-07-04T09:47:00.000+08:00

Why must stroke attack the brain of my mum ? Being disabled is enough, but why my mum must have poor understandings in things, and she will never learn her mistakes. And why she must argue with others that she is right, without understanding that she's in fact is wrong !!! I have enough of having such quarrels with her, enough...

Somehow I do envy mothers of other people around. They can go shopping together, having lunches together, making visits to relatives, and of course, celebrate mother's Day. But what did my mum do for the past 14 years ??? Saying things that can provoke others, complaining she is nervous to walk when we bring her out and do not know what's the world is going on. All these years, it is my father that takes up the role as a mother, taking extra good care of the family, struggling with work and family. But does my mum understand how much pressure does my father take in work ? How much struggles he have gone through ? How much worries he have suffer ?

Enough of saying of these. I just wanna cry it out how much I feel for this family, especially my mother. I hope she can really recover even if now she looks like she has already giving up since getting ill. I just want to study very hard, get As or Bs, to show actual proof,to bring some joy to this family.

2005-07-03T11:51:00.000+08:00

yesterday was such a long day.

5.30am - Wake up at Noel's house after just 3 hours of sleep, chat a lot before that.
6.30am - met up with the girls at Bedok interchange and buy some paos for all the members of group B
7 am - meet up with the rest of the members and eat paos together. then Da Huiling prepared sugar cane water for us, soo nice !
7.45am - arrive at expo hall 5b after waiting for jian liang. Go on and change into costumes.
9+am - Go for dry run
after that - Do make up and sty hair...
10+am - Do the final rehearsal
12pm - Have our lunch
3pm - The 1st show has started. My item did very well in terms of the dance steps, but the last formation looked messy according to our choreographers, but still looked nice ! cos both ends of the formation messed up in the same way !
4.45pm - my item standby - do our evening gongyo, have our dinner, touch ups on make ups, recall dance steps, wait and chant silent prayers for the success of ycfs. the 2nd show started at 8pm with minister Mr Mah Bow Tan, the guest of honour to launch the show.
2nd show - my item did much much better than the previous show. Overall, every item of the show achieved victory. Everyone continue to celebrate after the show.
9.30pm - Go on and celebrate, do cheers,take photos... etc etc etc
11pm - Go Home after such a long and enjoyable day has ended.

This YCF is great. and i almost wanna cry after the show,cos it is soo touched. By the way, i hope i can upload some pics of the show in the future posts. Now, I must do well and complete my ICA and WNA projects on time. There's a very long way to go in my life.

2005-07-01T14:27:00.000+08:00

I am stucked at CEMS assignment,can anyone please help me ??? by the way, I still got ICA and WNA project to do... I been lagging behind others as I still got a lot of things that i don't understand what to do.Nothing but As or Bs will do for those assignments, but can i make it ?

Later on tonight I am going to stay over at Noel's house together with Mok in preparation for tomorrow's big shows. Tomorrow YCF will be held at Singapore Expo and since Noel stays in Bedok, so we decided to stay over at his house in order to have a more convenient way to reach Expo the next morning. No need to get up soo early. lolx. I not very sure whether other guys will be joining us at Noel's house.

Tomorrow will be a long day and I must put up the most successful shows together with other comrades. By the way, those 2 ycf tickets i have given to Benjamin. Hope he and his friend/parent can really enjoy the shows performed by me and all SSA members. =)

2005-06-30T18:01:00.000+08:00

Hee hee...

Just find this skin and I change to it. Not bad... =)

By the way, i have linked with some of my friends and some websites also. Hope everyone will like this skin.

2005-06-30T17:08:00.000+08:00

Brazil won again... complete a treble as World Champions, South American Champions and now Confederations Champions at the same time. Will they successfully defend their world title crown next year at the very same country where they crashed Argentina last night ??? They can... as long as they are not as complacent as what France was 3 years ago.

2 Days to YCF... well those 4 months has been fast. The day after tomorrow will be the actual show. There are Ups & Downs during those months and i am glad that I can overcome some bad times with the encouragements and supports of friends throughout the trainings. Thanks everyone, I am fine and ready for Saturday's Shows. Those friendships must be cherished and stayed on after the end of the show !

I will end this post here. I may update again later on.

2005-06-29T23:44:00.000+08:00

Hello !!! Testing Here.

Well... i have decided to come up with yet another blog this time. Soo i hope everyone will like it. =)